Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Raising a child or a man?-Justus turns 13

Just needed to break the blog silence. My son turned 13 today. What a humbling feeling to think I have raised and trained a living being for 13 years and he has turned out OK so far. I was reminded of the verse in 1 Corinthians 13:11 "When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things."
As a dad I have to remind myself that I don't need to treat my 13 year old like a child or he will take childish ways into his adult life. My mentality has to change from Justus my little boy to Justus the young man or else I will become a limiting factor in his development to manhood. Been praying alot lately on specific areas I need help my son on his road to manhood. I want to be strategic and innovative in his development. For me imparting to my son is done best through a close intimate relationship. My son should be able to smell my scent, feel my strength, and know how I think. Manhood is rubbed off through abrasion and contact of working together, praying together, and talking through issues. Justus being our first born has been our experiment. My wife and I cut our teeth on raising him so we have learned from our mistakes. A few mistakes we corrected early on in his development are:

  1. Stopped using fear and intimidation as correction
  2. When we argue in front of him make up in front of him.
  3. When we blow it as parents apologizing to him.
  4. Stopped doing everything for him so he can learn responsibility

I always heard you know you are a man when another man tells you you are a man. What I see in my son makes me proud and I think he is getting close. This Friday myself and few other men are going to take Justus out and impart principles of manhood we feel are important. Not sure we will get the tribal paint and ceremonial knives out, but we will make it a memorable time for him. Ultimately, I don't want my child to be like me...I want him to be a reflection of my Heavenly father. I blogged about this a year ago here: Like Father Like Son.