Friday, December 4, 2009

Marriage Crisis

Fealt the need to repost this from last year...Enjoy.

DON'T DO IT!!! Divorce is not the answer. Marriage problems can be repaired. Negativty in our marriages must cease. This post is for the couples struggling in their marriage right now. This post is for the couples you know that are struggling (pass it on). This post is for that stubborn spouse that wants to keep their problems a secret. DON'T DO IT!!! Divorce is not the answer.

This post is not a well thought out literary master piece at all. I just have an urgency to shoot from the hip. Last month myself and a few others took 30 days to pray 5am-6am. One of the main subjects was marriage. See our marriage prayer here at this post. At the bottom of the post are a few good resources that can turn your marriage in the right direction.

For those of you that don't know I am a part of a marriage organization called Eye to Eye Marriage Enrichment Community . For 10 years we have had ZERO divorces for couples that have been through one year of our "Walk together" bible study. You can read about the strategy here. We are throwing a huge party at our 10th sweetheart ball next year to celebrate. I am not here to sell an organization but if something is working you need to find out why. Let me share with you some quick bullet points that have kept divorces at bay.

  1. Keeping the word of God central as you build your relationships. Seeking Christ centered resources that fill your marriage with the TRUTH versus opinions.
  2. Creating a subculture of other married couples with the same goal of having vibrant marriages. This could be family, friends, neighbors, or church.
  3. Set regular and routine things in your yearly calendar that focus on building your marriage. This should include: Bible studies, fun events, conferences, alone and with and with other couples.
  4. Not keeping our problems a secret. Marriages are one of the most prevalent secret societies in the world. We cut our hand we run straight to the hospital. We run into marriage problems we bind each other to secrecy. This must stop!
  5. Recognize you are fighting a literal enemy! And it is not your spouse! Satan, the world system, and your own lust (sin nature) are all fighting against your oneness in marriage.
  6. When you run into a roadblocks WASTE NO TIME..get help quickly. Identify that seasoned couple that you can sit with to talk to. Have identified the church small group or Sunday School class that is focused on marriage. Be prepared to contact your pastor or Marriage leader in your church. Agree with your spouse during peacetime what you both will do when you run into wartime road blocks.

True confession: My wife and I have been married for 13 years. We have been through sex issues, money issues, communication issues, inlaw issues, etc. We are still together and each of our 13 years of marriage has gotten better and better. OK, here is what you don't know. All 13 of those years we have had an older couple in our lives that we have run to with our issues. All of those 13 years we have had companion couples in our season of life to live life with. All 13 of those years we have attempted to pour into others marriages through our struggles. Listen I am a pastor and a marriage leader and I have sought consistent help in my marriage. WHAT IS YOUR EXCUSE! Get Help! Get Help! Let the cat out the bag! Get some accountability for the most important earthly relationship you have.

Last story: There is a couple where the husband was caught in pornography, he was put out the house. For months they grew bitter and cold towards each other. Multiple children started building resentment toward their dad. Things appeared hopeless and bleak. Long story short, he is back home and they are rebuilding their marriage relationship and parent child relationships. HOW DID THAT HAPPEN!

  1. She never stopped praying and seeking God
  2. He never stopped praying and seeking God
  3. They both ran to their Godly friends for advice
  4. The both ran to their pastor for advice.
  5. They both started Chirst centered classes together to over come addictions and find inner healing.

They are still in the process of overcoming but THEY ARE NOT DIVORCED! Divorce is not the answer. Let's take a stand in this culture and build tall Guard Rails to protect this Godly ordained institution of marriage.

Got questions? I will do my best to help or find someone that can.

Join in as we fast from negative words for 30 days. I wrote 15 viable reasons to join this campaign in a previous post. Entire churches are joining, small groups, corporate offices, classrooms, families, teams, etc. are all joining in. This campaign will change your life! It is the right thing to do.

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